Rejection is a common occurrence. Learning that early and often will help you build the tolerance and resistance to keep going and trying. Kevin Feige
Rejections are the most common emotional wound we sustain in our daily life. We all have been rejected at one point or the other in our lives from acquaintances or close relatives
This could occur in any form:
· A parent who decide not to be your parent
· A spouse who breaks up suddenly with partner
· A parent who decides not to be your parent
· A friend that betrays you
· Not getting a job and lots more
Without beating around the bush, the definition of rejection is well known to most of us, different people have different experiences of rejection
Cambridge dictionary explains rejection as “the act of not giving someone the love and attention they want”
When I saw this, I thought deeply “the love and attention they want”
I love the way it ended thou, “THEY WANT”
Most people feel rejected when they don’t get what THEY WANT. Google defined Want as a desire for something.
Yes, when we don’t get the job we want we feel rejected, when we don’t get the love we yearn for we feel rejected, when we don’t get the attention we seek we feel rejected.
One thing that surprises me is that most people avoid their needs just because they didn’t get their want. How funny.
Let me give a brief explanation on this,
Anne didn’t get the love and attention she wanted from josh so she deprived herself of food for days.
I guess the picture I painted above is clear now, we all know food is a need but because of our want we deprive ourselves of it
That’s simply THE POWER OF REJECTION
In some cases, our wants overshadow our need when we feel rejected. (Some people are very strong emotionally thou, they would never deprive themselves of their food)
A Question popped into my head on a faithful day
What is the root of this rejection?
Different people experiences rejection in different ways, though there are some similar cases
What could be the root of this rejection? I thought deeply
Then I realised there are two aspect of rejection
· Those rejected by others
· Self rejection
These are two different cases,
An entaglement between these two is that, one can develop self rejejection when rejected by others
Self rejection starts from an individual, I feel this is more painful and it also destroys emotion. Everything starts from you as an individual. When rejected by others, it’s left to us to develop this feeling
Who says there is no pain Attached to Rejection?
Being on the receiving end of a social snub causes emotional consequences
Researchers dug deep into the roots of rejection, they found surprising evidence that “the pain of being excluded is not so different from the pain of physical injury”
If I am to go by researchers evidence, The pain of been rejected by close relatives is more of a deep physical injury, because the pain is more when we are rejected by our close and most loved relative, it takes a longer time to heal.
Rejection has serious implication for an individual psychological state. Social rejection influences emotion and sometimes our physical health
Being rejected is still very painful. Rejection crushes the soul especially when it’s from someone whose approval you’re seeking.
How we respond to rejection
Some people respond to rejection by seeking love and affection elsewhere. “If your sense of belonging has been thwarted, you will try to reconnect” says Williams.
Some may respond to rejection with anger and lashing out. He or she may become aggressive. When people act aggressively, they a less likely to gain acceptance
While others get angry in response to rejection some people become friendlier
Once rejected, it’s very hard for some people to feel accepted, Most times they tend to look for sense of belonging and this might not end well in some cases. Many become shattered that they no longer believe in friendship. They live comfortably in pain. The pain they gained from mankind.
“Some humans would just judge people for rejecting others, were you there when they misbehaved?” a woman said this while I was walking down my street on a very hot afternoon.
This is actually very true, it’s probably because we displayed a bad attitude or manner during our job interview, that why we couldn’t get the job.
Most people don’t want to hear the truth about behavioral deficiency
Check yourself out each time you are rejected,
Ask yourself questions i.e. (was it because I couldn’t do this or that, or was my manner of approach very bad?)
Then think about the whole situation very well. (Don’t forget to answer the questions and if you can’t do that yourself you can ask knowledgeable Adults)
I am very sure your thought now is what if I had no fault and I was still rejected?
Now to answer this,
I was searching for templates to use for someone when I came across this graphics
Yeah, most of us need to see rejection as redirection not denial.
There was this young girl who loves basketball all the days of her primary school life, she wasn’t opportune to practice while in primary school because there wasn’t a basketball court in her school environment, she grew up in an uncivilized community so she wasn’t able to practice at all, but her love for basketball kept on growing.
She got admitted into a prestigious federal college in Ogun state. Her happiness knew no bound when she realized the school has a basket ball court and a coach, she joined the basketball team right from her first year, she didn’t find it so interesting because most of the focus were on the senior students. She waited patiently till when she was in JSS3. She went for the practice, thou she was good at dribbling. She was rejected by the coach because of her height, how painful. She loved basket ball all her life but she couldn’t get to be a basketball player
She didn’t give up anyways, she cried and cried. She blamed God for not blessing her with height. Little did she know that her rejection was a redirection. I loved the fact that this little sweet girl moved on within a week, she tried other sport games like javelin, shot-put, long jump, high jump, relay race, tennis, football and so many other games.
Many people thought she was just trying to join the different sport club to get attention, little did they know that she was trying to redirect her sport life. Finally she found out what she was good at, thou she wasn’t the best at it but she loved and enjoys doing it a lot.
She didn’t turn her rejection into criticism but redirection.
The little girl is ME. I could remember how much I cried that night, I always wanted to be a basketball player because of one very babyish reason which was basketball players are generally fresh and I wanted to be one of the coolest then.
As it’s commonly said, “When life throws lemon at you, make lemonade from it and sell it back to them, If people throw stones at you, get some cement and build a castle. TUNE UP your optimism irrespective of what has been done to you”.
SPOILER ALERT!!!!
This world will not be a better place without you, never underestimate your capacity, your life counts. Don’t kill yourself over some guy or girl, and don’t live to impress them either
Always see your REJECTION AS REDIRECTION
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